it's no secret that i have some sleeping issues. i've discussed it more than once on the slant (see what falls away). last night i slept hard for the first time in weeks and when my internal alarm clock went off, as it always does, at 4:30 am, i simply covered my head, rolled over, and fell back into slumber.
for about 5 minutes.
just as i am about to drift into dreamland where i'm hoping to find nicole kidman waiting for me on a sandy beach with a pina colada in one hand and her bathing suit top in the other, i hear this weird sound...kinda like crumpling (is that a word?) plastic. or swishing. repetitive swishing. so i rub my eyes, throw on a robe, turn on the lamp. and there's my boy oscar, walking three-legged with his head and left hind leg caught in the handle of a hannaford plastic bag. and willie following him around the room. every time oscar moves, the plastic swishes and willie jumps on top of him, thinking it's a game. oscar looks agitated and even a little panicked that this plastic bag is a permanent fixture. and he's looking at me like "fix this goddamn thing before i go bat shit crazy". willie looks...amused. like he's enjoying his brother's new and challenging lot in life. and gives me the look that says "can we just leave him like this for the day? please??"
this is how my day has started.