Friday, January 18, 2008

wind chimes

i remember.

"i don't want to imagine this world without you. i can't. i won't know how to do it."

"oh darlena, i will always be in this world. in your world. i will be the voice in your head, in your heart, i will be sitting there, holding you, helping you, loving you."

"but how will i know it's you?"

"remember our thursdays? remember all of us, sitting on your deck in scarborough, in the warm sun, with the ocean breeze brushing our skin, the wind chimes singing? listen for the chimes darlena. that will be me, coming to visit you, you'll hear them and you'll know i'm right beside you."

and then you were gone.

W. and I drove home early that morning, 2:00 am, to sleep a few hours in our own bed after days of being away. and then up early to pack for the trip to Caribou...to bring you home. I went outside to the deck, just after dawn, just as the sun was coming up over the trees, just before the tide was turning, the river calm, quiet, motionless. i went outside and just stood there, letting the sting of the cold january air jolt my body awake. letting my heart feel the sharp, blinding newness of missing you, feeling it hit me deep inside to my bones.

and then the tide began to turn inward. the air began to move, the wind shifted across the river. I felt W. come up behind me, felt her head rest on my shoulder. "do you hear them? ringing?"

all around us, everywhere, every house along the river.

chimes. blowing wildly in the wind.

"yeah. she didn't wait too long, did she..."



1 comment:

stevie woodstock said...

This is really deep and moving. you can almost hear the chimes.