Thursday, April 24, 2008

willie wonka

in honor of women bloggers everywhere, particularly The Dykes, i offer this post to reinforce the stereotype that we obsess over our pets. yep, presterjohn and mr. macrum, this one is for you (attach a wink and a smile here, please.)

willie is my gray and white tuxedo boy, long hair that makes him look like a brute until you pick him up and realize he's a damn lightweight. really, on the rare occasion i've given this boy a bath, soaking wet he looks like an anorexic feline. we've been in a mostly committed long-term relationship for seven years (if he can hang in there for five more years this will be my most successful relationship ever...) i say mostly committed because i suspect there are a few women who occasionally visit that he has serious crushes on. he's partial to Lady Bug, which reinforces my belief that my boy has truly excellent taste. and of course he thinks The Matriarch rules the universe. And i know for certain that if Corey proposed to him, he'd marry her in a minute and forget i ever existed at all. True story.

But really, who can blame him...my friends are goddamn gorgeous.

he was a caged boy when my partner at the time and i met him, living behind bars on death row at a shelter in brunswick. we would never have noticed him if i hadn't set the car keys on top of his cage, with my eyes and interest on another cat across the way. he grabbed those keys and pulled them into his kitty prison cell so that i had no choice but to give him my attention. he then looked me over and decided i'd be easily trained. no question, he found me, and well, the rest is history.

knowing him as i do now, i imagine living in that little cage must have squashed his spirit big time, must have broken his little kitty heart. my boy likes to roam, to run, to sprawl. he's mostly a serious cuddle bug, but every now and then when he's curled up around me he turns on me, quickly, claws out, ears back, ready to attack. these are rare enough moments, and my theory is that for those few seconds, he forgets he is free and thinks he's back in that cage. i know how that feels--kinda like waking up from an especially bad dream and taking a few seconds to coax yourself back into reality--so i forgive him almost immediately.

He likes constant attention, and if he thinks he's not getting enough, he'll do spoiled-rotten things like swat stuff off tables, nightstands etc. I've learned to put cell phones and other breakables out of his reach because he has learned that such things make especially loud and effective crashes, and i don't enjoy being manipulated by a cat, though god knows i have become quite used to it.

sometimes i forget he's a cat and think he's human--or maybe it's that i forget i'm human and think i'm a cat--i dunno. he's an expressive, emotional boy, and i think he communicates better with me than any other living creature on the planet. he's sweet to me when i'm sad, he's playful with me when i'm happy, he's careful with me when i'm cranky. he's wide open to love and most of the time his love is completely unconditional. if i ever find a woman like this, i'm never gonna let her go.

he gets embarrassed, which i find utterly amusing. just yesterday i had all the windows open to let in the gorgeous spring air, and willie was the first to jump up on the sill and survey the outdoors. later that night, i shut the windows, let the boys inside and settled in to read myself to sleep. apparently willie didn't noticed the windows were closed and did the leap to resume his spot on the sill, only to smack himself head-first into the glass. bonk. he shook his head a bit, looked at me, noticed i was laughing, and slinked off to hide under the bed. came out a few minutes later with a look that said "are you done ridiculing me now, and hey, do you have any aspirin 'cause i have a bitchin' headache."

this morning, as i sat drinking coffee and reading the paper, i noticed him scoping out the dining room window on his hind legs, tapping the air where the window usually is with his front paws. then he looked over at me, just to make sure i wasn't watching, and took the leap of faith to the sill.

lucky for him, the window was opened wide.

and i'm pretty sure i saw a look of relief on his face.

who needs cable TV when you have willie?



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh my dear precious wonderboy willie, how i love you so... and your mommy and oscar too!
love ya *loud*, the matriarch