Wednesday, May 14, 2008

one step forward, two steps back

today was not a good day. it may have been the hardest one of all so far for my mom. i keep hearing that the third day after surgery is notoriously awful...i can't figure out if people are saying this to reassure us and to make us believe that tomorrow will be better, or if it's really true. i am praying for the second scenario.

lily tomlin once said "it's going to get a whole lot worse before it gets worse."

um, yeah.

corey just dropped me off, and all i want to do is walk out the door and go back to my mom, but i also know that i'm no good to her if i can't keep my thoughts clear. so i'm going to meditate, for the first time in six days, and do some really. serious. tonglen.

and i will sleep, holding my mom tight in my heart, and tomorrow will be a new day. and we will find our way through it.

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