Friday, June 27, 2008

you love the thunder

there are few things that make me happier than watching, listening to, touching, smelling and breathing a thunderstorm. we just had a damn good one in portland-town, and i sat out on the porch and let it all soak into me...bright splashes of lightning, loud claps of thunder, pounding rain, and a lovely cool breeze brushing my skin, brushing right through me. and while the fireworks and sound effects are fading away, there is still a nice steady rain falling outside (i know, i know...we've had more than our fair share of rain lately, but what can i say? i. heart. weather.)

i've had a crazy month...and tonight is the first night in a good long time when i have absolutely nothing at all to do. i tore through my apartment earlier (it had been horrifically neglected over the past six weeks but it's starting to look and feel like home again). now i've lit some candles, i've got billie holiday crooning in the background, and i am content. it feels good to be in my own quiet space. i've been craving it, needing it desperately.

and yet, i will feel a tinge of loneliness later...right after the dinner is cooked and eaten, dishes washed and put away. right before night falls. so it goes, the constant pushing and pulling of heart vs. head, of savoring my solitude even as those little pangs of emptiness pierce through me.

all in all though, for tonight, life is just simply sweet.

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