Sunday, July 13, 2008

most ridiculous week ever

okay, okay, the post title is a blatant rip-off of's Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. which i am pretty sure was a blatant rip-off of VH 1's Best Week Ever which was probably a blatant rip-off of something else. come on people, there are only so many letters in the alphabet and only so many notes on the scale and only so many colors on the palette. let's all hold hands and pretend we're having a good time (blatant ani difranco rip-off, right. there.). it is sunday, the official day of, um, rest, so cut me a little slack and let's get on with it already.

if i sound grumpy, well, dammit i am. in a previous post, i mentioned spending some of my 'stimulus' check on must-have medicine for my mom. the other half of it was supposed to help me purchase 100 gallons of heating oil. in what i can only describe as a protest against buying heating oil during a heatwave, i spent the money on things like a bad ass new pair of chuck taylors and new books and a t-shirt from life is good. fast forward to this past friday, when i jumped in the shower and midway through it the water turned ice. cold. my screams of agony could be heard on both Munjoy Hill and the West End and very possibly the Falmouth Peninsula. outta oil. and i could really use another stimulus check, george w. just sayin'. so my grumpiness stems from three days of taking cold showers. yeah.

annnnyway. back to the most. ridiculous. week. ever. i have hand-picked four nominations. i am by no means endorsing the notion that other ridiculousness did not occur this week and/or in previous weeks. or that better ridiculousness is not soon to follow. and what i consider ridiculous may be common sensical to the rest of y'all. whatever. it's my blog so deal with it. or get your own blog and make your own damn list (eh. there's the grumpiness rearing its ugly head. sorry about that. oil is being delivered on tuesday and i'm gonna wash that grumpiness right outta my hair.)

ahem. focus huntress.

without further ado, and in absolutely no particular order, my Top Four Nominations.

drum roll, pah-leeeeze.


i ran out of oil this week. okay, so i already mentioned that. i'm just. very. unhappy about it.


in what is becoming just a mind-boggling phenomenon, another anti-gay rightwing nutcase has been caught having a gay affair. this time, beautifully, it's the Attorney General of Alabama, Troy King. something about his photo makes my gaydar go ding ding ding, or beep beep beep, or whatever sound gaydars make when they spot family. maybe it's the hair, which coincidentally reminds me of the quaff sported by a certain Maine christian conservative anti-gay pesky leader whose name shall not be mentioned but whose photo, um, shall be. and don't get your panties twisted MH, this is all done in good ole private-citizen-not-wearing-my-work-hat lesbian fun.

now of course these are all rumors and innuendos, but still, somebody in John McSame's camp is taking them seriously enough to remove all references to Mr. Queen, oops, I mean Mr. King from the website. check out a diary post over at Pam's House Blend for the fully delicious details.


and speaking of John McSame, it's hard to pick out The Most Ridiculous McCain Story of the week because as usual, there are many. runners up included his new version of the old POW story in which he made some minor adjustments to satisfy the taste of local sports fans; AND the secret services' removal, at a Johnny Fundraising Event in Denver, of a very, very dangerous, um, librarian because she was holding a sign that said "McCain = Bush." but for me, the winner is a story out of the LA Times this week about one of McCain's surrogate speakers, Carly Fiorina, giving some nice political spin around insurance companies that cover Viagra and not birth-control. Fiorina said: "Let me give you a real, live example, which I've been hearing a lot about from women. There are many health insurance plans that will cover Viagra but won't cover birth control medication. Those women would like a choice."

first of all, i fucking love the ridiculousness of a McSame surrogate talking about Viagra since he's like, um, 103 years old. that said, one could imply from Fiorina's statement that Johnny supports insurance companies covering birth control, right? except that, as NARAL pointed out, Johnny twice voted AGAINST such legislation in 2002 and 2005.

but what makes this UTTERLY ridiculous (as if all of the above didn't automatically qualify) was McSame's response to Cathleen Decker, a writer for the LA Times, when she asked him about this rather glaring contradiction. check it out and Watch. Johnny. Squirm. honest to gawd, it's almost painful:

i simply cannot. wait. for the obama/mccain debates. obama is gonna whip mccain's sorry butt. for real. pop me some corn and pour me a cold one 'cause this is going to be better than color TV.

and finally...

i wrote something earlier in the week about about the American News Project, and specifically, about a report they posted called The Price Of Hunger. in related news, there was a G8 summit in Japan this week, focusing on world hunger. so, after presumably spending countless hours and immeasurable brainpower and exercising all their collective problem-solving skills discussing how to feed, say, starving Ethiopians:

they were rewarded for their efforts by being treated to...wait for eighteen course meal:

it's kind of not so much ridiculous as it is, well, disgusting, and you can read the rest of the story by checking out the Daily News report HERE. if you can, for lack of a better phrase, stomach it.

so, there you have it. my version of The. Most. Ridiculous. Week. Ever.

happy sunday.


Anonymous said...

yeah, hello? um, regarding the G8 summit? wait for it... this was all over the news. why do you post things that everyone already knows? seriously.

toklas23 said...

um, hello yourself?

these were. not. intended. to. be. news. flashes.

they were my choices for the most boneheaded ridiculous stories of the week.

you understand the difference, right?