Wednesday, August 13, 2008

slacker

every now and then, when posts have been scant on the slant, i'll get a friendly nudge from dawn at mdi, usually an email with the subject line slacker. i've been expecting one since i haven't written anything in the last few days, and sure enough, when i checked my mail tonight, there it was, steady as she goes. and so here i am.

and i got nothing but some random thoughts...

michael phelps. holy shit. i'm not gonna go into some long diatribe about the 800 reasons it completely disgusts me that the Olympics are in China. i'm too tired to do it tonight. i'm just gonna say....Michael Phelps. i want to be him, for like 20 seconds. just to see how it feels to be oh, i dunno, a superhero.





heating oil. causing sleepless nights on Beacon Street. picturing myself this winter wearing every sweater i own. all at once. remember the little brother in "A Christmas Story" who wears the winter jacket that is so puffy he can't move his arms?


that's gonna be me, attempting to maneuver around my apartment in 800 layers of clothing. if i can't figure out a way to stretch 100 gallons of oil over a 6-8 week period this winter, i'm not gonna eat. the good news...Muffin Top Belly Reduction.

susan collins. that whole "Secret Union Vote" thing? those freaking obnoxious commercials? aside from the fact that they are annoying, and false, and that people are stupid enough to think it means Tom Allen believes we should do away with secret ballots, and did i mention that they are annoying? aside from all of THAT...as a Sopranos Freak Fanatic, I am not happy that Johnny Sacks is in one of the commercials. somebody, quick, get Gandolfini on the phone and let's film a response ad where Tony Soprano kicks some serious Johnny Sacks butt.



foot in mouth disease. Johnny Mcsame quote of the week, regarding Russian invading Georgia: "in the 21st century, nations don't invade other nations." oh. my. god.



like matthew yglesias says: "We all recall, of course, John McCain’s outrage when the United States violated this rule back in 2003."

the x files. saw the new x-files movie last week. the company was lovely. the movie though? um. don't bother. unless you're at all interested in maniacal mad scientist russian homosexuals who perform head transplants in unsanitary, scary shacks in the middle of nowhere. bad, bad, bad.





the pretenders. releasing a new album. a new COUNTRY album. this does not make me happy. Chrissie Hynde was such a bitchin' chick rocker. i'll probably buy it anyway, and end up hating it. and then i'll just play Learning To Crawl. over and over and over again. 'cause that album makes. me. happy. side note: am i supposed to say that the pretenders are releasing a new "CD"?? 'cause i am fully aware that, well, albums went the way of slinkies and hula hoops and Fresca and MTV being music television that airs music videos. screw it. i'm still saying album. i miss albums. i miss how excited i used to get to check out the sleeve, and the liner notes.





lindsay lohan. allegedly livin' the lesbian life. converting to Judaism for Samantha. and Samantha (who i have to say...well, makes me want to take a shower whenever i see a photo of her...eww) finally speaks publicly about their little romance. and we discover why she's never spoken publicly before. because she sort of sounds like an idiot. "Lindsay is great. But she's also 22 years old. I think people forget that. With the Internet the way it is, one second we're enemies, one second we're best friends, one second we're lovers, and then we're broken up... Even the airport security guy in Canada asked me, 'So is it true?' It's like, 'Oh, yeah, I'm telling you!' like, oh my god! that's so like, crazy!!! um. who. flipping. cares.





searsport. i'm there. this weekend. road trip with Corey. visiting friends who have a lovely cottage. on the ocean. key words: lobster. beer. no internet. and did i mention cottage on the ocean? this may be the cure for the worst Case Of Crankiness i've had in months.




lamest post ever? quite possibly. blame it on the rain (yeah, yeah...Milli fucking Vanilli, baby!!)


or blame it on the full moon. or lack of sleep due to oil prices, as mentioned earlier. whatever. i tried to make it at least entertaining by inserting Pretty Pictures. Dawn wanted a post. here it is sister friend.

happy hump night y'all.

2 comments:

Dawn on MDI said...

"albums went the way of slinkies and hula hoops and Fresca and MTV being music television that airs music videos."

Um, Dar? You can still get slinkies (even the metal ones), hula hoops, Fresca (and TAB!). The MTV bit is right though. I miss videos.Pat Benetar trying to dance was about the best comedy on tv in the 1980s.

toklas23 said...

oh no you didn't!

you did *not* just make fun of Pat Benatar. She's a hot sexy sassy rocker goddess. i am going to see her play at the end of August. me, mchottie, the matriarch and corey, and probably 20 or 30 other die-harders. i swear to gawd, i cannot wait.

she can pretend she's dancing around me any. time. she. wants.